Loathed?

"LOATHED in the USA? Why ‘Loathed’?” 

   There are many misconceptions people have had when it comes to trying to understand or dissect what it means to me without my thoughts or explanation of the name. I am not making any political standings. I am not an activist. I am not trying to be edgy. I am not trying to open anyones eyes, and I do not think, or feel like it is me against the world. This is not some Native’s Rights movement that I am trying to make. Though I am native, that is not entirely what this is about.
    So often as kids, we are taught as we start to get older that we have to conform to this goofy idea that we just cannot possibly achieve true success or happiness by following our “unrealistic” and “crazy” dreams. Stop singing, don’t draw, quit painting, “Don’t be silly, that’s not gunna pay the bills”. We are told that we can become anything we want, do anything we dream of, then are made fun of, chastised, or told that we will never make it, unless we quit living in a fantasy land, get a real job, get a degree, or grow up. Convincing us little by little that it is absolutely vital for us to go to college, go to trade school, go to grad school, or whatever it may be. All in order to get a good job, or work for some big corporation, or to have a certain car, a certain house, a family that looks and acts a certain way. There are countless made up rules presented before us as guidelines to the only way of making a living, finding true happiness, or achieving ultimate success, essentially telling us that anything otherwise, is to fail.
    Now, I am not saying the world is wrong. I am not saying that society is wrong, and I am not saying that there is anything wrong with any of these commonly recommended or sought after paths of career/education. And I am not saying that we shouldn’t do as we’re told or taught, nor am I saying that we should never have to do anything that we don’t want to do. That is a very obvious and inevitable part of life at times. Educational, financial, and most importantly, familial obligations can be and are very real. I understand this. I’m only saying that the possibilities are so much more vast then the general limitations bestowed upon us as a whole, and that we should never have to compromise with what makes us free thinking individuals by giving up all hope on anything we’ve ever imagined, had a passion for, or wished to pursue; whether it be for financial purpose or simple pleasure.
    This is about life as I’ve seen and experienced it. It is about the minorities. The creatives. The drug addict, the alcoholic. Victims of sexual and physical violence. Victims of emotional abuse and racism. This is about us. This is what America was built upon. It is about turning your dreams into something tangible against every odd. I understand that this may sound somewhat like policy, principle, or activism. Again, it is not. These are simply things that I think about, have went through, and dealt with my entire life to certain degrees, and have shaped and continue to shape me to this day. This is the reality, and it is the reality that the majority seems to want to ignore, forget, or make a complete mockery out of. Because that is easier then to look at how scary, ugly, and harsh the world can be. It is easier to follow and do as your told then it is to go off on your own. It is easier to view as a joke then it is to have the courage to try anything different because of the possibility of failure, embarrassment, or loss. No matter what you do, you’re always going to be wrong in someone’s eyes. Even when you do exactly as told to. It will never be enough, or good enough for some. Someone will always have something to say. So why not enjoy, and live life the way that you see fit.
    To put it simply, Loathed in the USA is about me creating and doing something that I truly want to do. Something that I am truly passionate about, regardless of what people think. Regardless of the negative connotations associated with the word “Loathed”, there is nothing negative about the things I am trying to say or do by using the name that I use. Is there a better or more family friendly name, or brand that I could come up with? Yes. Will I miss out on sales because of the negative connotations connected to my name? Probably. But, I would miss out somewhere else, for something else anyways, no matter what name I chose, or what I do. So, I will do it my way, the way that I want to do it. Using names and words that I want to use, and that are representive of myself and the way that I think, feel, see, and experience life and creativity. This is not about building some multimillion or billion dollar corporation that I will be able to pass down for centuries to come for financial stability or gain. I’m not trying to “Do the right thing.”, I am very simply just trying to express myself, all the while trying to make a living, and doing what I can to keep from letting the fear of shame, embarrassment, or failure dictate the way in which I do so. This is what Loathed in the USA means to me.
I am Loathed in the USA.